Today is the first day when I have felt guilt because I can't meet the needs of both of my children.
I was in the hospital the whole day with Rosie and I didn't get to see Jared at all. I didn't know until near the end that Jared had a rough day. And then I wasn't going to be able to get home before his bedtime. When I was leaving Rosie in the able and loving arms of my mother, I felt just awful for not being there for her tonight. Even though she is doing great, all the what ifs were running through my head as I hurried to the car to get to my sweet toddler boy.
When I got home I woke Jared up for a few minutes for some giggles and snuggles. And I felt better. He still loves me; He knows that I love him. After I calmed down a bit, I knew that Rosie will be even better than fine. My mom is awesome with children and there are two nurses whose only job is to take care of her medical needs.
I've chilled out now.
I guess I'm glad to have another new experience in the parenting world!
3 comments:
You are such a good mother to come home and spend some time with your son. They are both so incredibly lucky to have you.
OH Kelsey that has to be so hard! You are totally doing the best possible in this situation, so don't feel guilt. But I totally know what you mean by the 'guilt' of not being there for both children. While it'll be way easier when they're both home, it'll still always kinda be there (them both wanting you, at the same time, almost all the time), so it's ok to let the guilt go early on, and not worry about you doing something wrong! ;) You just accept that time will be split from now on, and that's ok. Kids learn to play on their own, or you learn to keep them busy while you take care of the others' needs. You'll do great! :)
You are amazing!! Remember to take some time for yourself too, even if it is just to shower. Those are wonderful moments. I hate those feelings of guilt. Trust. Think of what you would tell me and then tell yourself. I always love your advice. You can do it! Miss you!
Post a Comment